What is the elixir of life?
A life of loneliness is a life no better than death.
And when we are happiest, is the memory not shared?
Therefore, friends and families are the answer to a life well-lived,
and our constant and grouped interactions with them just helps ground
us into healthy and positive cycle of love, appreciationa and cherishment.
Could it be that having regular gatherings with people you have come to know intimately is one of the most cherished aspects of daily life? To me, it is. However, it is a pity that this seems to have been lost in the hustle and bustle of modern day life in society. Fewer of us go to churches to see friends; we are driven to study and work longer and harder, and we watch others get together on our seriel television programmes while we collapse under the duvets.
We have scheduled days of school, work, waterpolo matches, ballet and piano lessons, or band practices to attend. Our social time is now being squeezed into micro sentences posted on Facebook- who has time for a regular conversation! Getting everyone together for a simple evening of cards? Forget it. No one has time. We don't have time to eat, take evening walks, or have leisurely conversations into the twilight hours of the night. And, forget about a commitment to weekend "get-together's" with family and friends that drag on all day long. Who has the energy for all that, when maintaining our own personal studies, or work and lives is exhausting enough all on its own.
In our rugged culture of individualism, we are all standing alone, yet we are not meant to be such solitary creatures. We are creatures of comminication and socialable relationship. And not just one, we need layers of connections in order to feel whole. We need we also need our interpersonal partners to be with us, we need good friends, we need close family ties, we need all all of these relationships to be meaningful, and we need to feel part of a global family.
I feel that some of our greatest minds in studying human behavior and the new rage of "Happiness" books may have overlooked the awesome influence that a regular monthly game of bridge or mahjong with the girls, or in recent days, the power of Rockband jamming with a bunch of friends, can bring. Certain elements are always the consistent that become a type of ritual: same table, same food, same atmosphere, same easy laughs. It takes away the stress of every day life and provides a routine that takes the edge off.
Our modern society has stripped away the importance of regular group meetings to such a degree most of us do not even realize it is the "What's Missing" in our lives. Fundamentally, we long to belong. We crave a place to be part of a group with whom we are accepted, where we can care and be cared for. It helps us to hear that others are feeling the same way, or have experiences we can relate to. It may not solve anything, but it lessens our burdens to know we carry them with others.
I believe having a special group does not have to be left to chance or random circumstance -- it can be consciously created at every layer of relationships in your life. Maybe you once had a special group of friends in your life. If not now, why not? Is it too hard? Are all the people around you unapproachable? Are we all mildly depressed and lulled into a solitary funk?
Those who have a robust social life derive the benefit of having reinforcing encounters on a regular basis, and are great mood elevators. If you are rushing to the Popular bookshop in school and run into someone who recognizes you -- what happens? An instant rush of positive emotion, you feel rooted in your community to see someone you know and like. Plus you have common topics to discuss without requiring any extra time or work to maintain such a quick exchange.
So perhaps it is time to put regular dates on the calendar to get together with those friends you always wanted to know a bit better, to turn off the television shows at night and have a game of Scrabble with your friends. If you can't afford your therapist, better not scrap those martini nights with the girls...sometimes it's all you need to get by on a bad day.
Ushering in the new year 2009 with my bunch of friends! :))
